Old-School Decor Clues That Say ‘This Home Needs a Makeover’

With the abundance of home decoration TV shows, blogs, and content creators, it’s hardly surprising the home decor industry has grown significantly. However, knowing which part of your living space to renovate can be difficult.

What may begin as an exciting project can soon become stressful. For those not knowing where to begin, there are certain old-school decor situations you simply must address first. Some of these dated features scream makeover.

1. Floral Patterned Furniture or Drapes

It can be hard to pass judgment on someone’s floral furniture or drapes because who are we to tell them otherwise? The archetypal modern home comes with plain, neutral designs — younger homeowners have enough digital distractions.

Floral design compatibility with the rest of the room is often a problem; something very low-key might be permissible in the right setting. “A subtle pattern or a solid color always looks nice,” says expert Ellen Fitch. “A little bit of trim could look chic, but use this as an accent and not the main feature.”

2. Linoleum Flooring

If anything, seeing a linoleum floor in a home may cause a Pavlovian response. To some, the feeling of being in a hospital may emerge, while others might reflect on school meals. Put simply, any flooring material that gets sunbleached is a no-no.

To many, a linoleum floor is just uncool. While it may be easier to clean, it will make any room feel older. It’s kind of like wearing vintage clothing at an illegal rave. In any case, trend-followers may want to hold off on removing their lino just yet. Kathleen Siddell of Apartment Therapy believes it is coming back — make it make sense.

3. Heavy Drapes

There are many things to like about heavy drapes: for one, they are energy efficient — especially during winter. Thick curtains can also block unwanted light, which makes sense for night owls like me.

However, they only look right in certain places: hunting lodges, banquet halls, and ballrooms. Unless you own a period (or mock-period) home, your old velvet drapes need to go. “Choose modern pleat styles, such as Ripple Fold Drapery or Tailored Pleat Drapery,” advises TheShadeStore.

4. Vertical Blinds

Keeping with the window-fittings theme — the ’80s called and wants its blinds back. Vertical blinds were cool in the ’50s, then again three decades later. Each time, something cooler came along — in this case, horizontal blinds.

Business Insider interviewed interior artist Luciana Fragali, who gave her verdict. “I personally never understood these,” said Fragali. “Not only are they not aesthetically pleasing, but they fail to maximize light to brighten up the living room.”

5. Matching Furniture

I don’t know anyone who didn’t have matching furniture growing up through the ’80s and ’90s. It was standard practice to buy a two-piece or three-piece suit, especially if several children were involved.

In a blog post, Design platform High Country Furniture & Design suggests ditching the matching set for mismatched pieces. If anything, it makes economic sense. “Down the road, you may decide that you should replace a worn armchair or add an accent table in your living room,” reads the post.

6. Taxidermied Animals

We can all agree that the only acceptable animals in a home — if you don’t want guests breaking into a cold sweat, at least — are moving ones. Let’s make one thing clear: we enjoyed petting your live French bulldog, but seeing him mounted on the wall with an eternal grin will damage your home’s optics,

Perhaps this classic Bored Panda post about taxidermies gone wrong will encourage you to leave your inanimate creatures in the hunting lodge or elsewhere.

7. Word Art

Some humans feel comforted with words in their peripheral view. Home cooks might go for a “Too hot to handle” slogan. Meanwhile, remote workers may select the “You have to be crazy to work here…” placard for the home office.

Okay, this selection may seem a little tough, but come on, people — this is the design equivalent of wearing an “I’m with stupid” tee shirt. Design expert Zoe Warren spoke to the US Sun. She gave her verdict on the overuse of the “Home” placard, which she said “lacks character and looks tacky.”

8. Tile Countertops

There is a special place for tile countertops — namely, rustic mountain-top villas in Italy or pizza parlor counters. Inheriting a kitchen with tiled countertops and then installing modern appliances around them makes little sense; it’s better to start with the countertops.

Furthermore, nothing makes a kitchen look more dated than tarnished grouting in between each tile — an inevitable tile symptom. “Oh, let me count the ways tile countertops don’t do it for me!” says designer Glenn Gissler in a Homes & Garden feature. “You cannot really clean and keep clean a tile surface that has grout between tiles.”

9. Fake Plants

An Architectural Digest piece featuring some prominent design influencers shares their pet peeves for interior design ideas. One such article spokesperson is YouTuber Garrett Le Chic, who puts sanctions on non-organic flora accessories.

“Fake plants always look a little bit fake unless they’re really, really good, and then they’re going to be way expensive anyway,” he advises. Le Chic later adds, “If you can’t take care of a plant, just don’t get one.” Don’t even get me started on fake fruit.

10. Polished Brass Fixtures

While some brasswork can be beautiful, its color notes hardly bring out the aesthetic ambiance in any living space. What’s more, brass requires a constant battle to maintain, often descending into dark, grimy territory.

Interior design writer Jess Bunge argues in Decor Platform Style by Emily Henderson that brass still has a place at the table. “It would be silly to say that brass is ‘out’,” she reflects. “It’s still everywhere.” However, firmly in the zeitgeist now are “silver/chrome and even polished nickel.”

11. Unenviable Green

Perhaps the gravest design felony on this list is choosing green for just about anything. We all know which green is the worst — anything reptile or pastel-hued. Personally, it brings to mind a scene in the irreverent BBC comedy, The League of Gentlemen (1999).

In the skit, we meet some odd homeowners with an unhealthy penchant for frogs, matched by the home’s frog-green decor. For some reason, the color of avocados just makes an interior old and creepy.

A Carpet Takeover

As with clothing fashion, interior design fashion goes in circles. Hard floors have made several comebacks over the decades, reports Ralph’s Hardwood Floors. Sometime during the ’80s, homeowners were tired of looking after their carpets, opting for hardwood floors.

Fast-forward 40 years, and we are still in this era. Some people still opt for carpeting their upstairs sleeping quarters, which makes sense. However, it is rare to experience a fully carpeted property — not least one that doesn’t feel like a throwback.

Pine Everything

There was a time when Ikea didn’t exist, and simple pine would adorn homes everywhere, especially during the late ’80s and early ’90s. However, as the years progressed, other styles took over.

Ayn Monique Klahre writes on the home advice website Bob Vila about how other woods add more modern variety. “Opt for furniture in other attractive types of wood, such as teak, walnut, or acacia,” she says.

Frosted Glass Fixtures

There are two firm sides to the frosted glass debate. Some advocate for the privacy benefits, which is why we still see them in bathroom designs or street-level bedrooms.

A Livingetc article explores professional views on frosted glass, speaking to Marian Louise Designs owner Mimi Meacham. “Yes, frosted glass windows are out of date,” she says. “They do not bring a homey feel or chic look to your house, and there are so many other ways to create privacy.”

Millennial Pink

Some might wonder what the heck “millennial pink” even is. There could be some weird connotations here, but it refers to a recently deceased en-vogue color palette. In 2017, Heather Schwedel of Slate wrote a post pleading for people to stop calling everything by this name.

Predictably, this trend didn’t last long for anyone but the diehard pink disciples. Sadly, those remaining millennials (many approaching their forties now) must now contemplate remodeling their Caucasian-hued bedrooms.

TV Stands or Cabinets

Some of us grew up in the muscle-bound ’80s, which meant competition between friends to see whose parents had the biggest TV stand. Multi-media stations had it all: a TV, speakers, a hi-fi system, and a library for games and VHS tapes.

Nostalgists still retain the Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite energy — more home-proud souls opt for wall-mounted flatscreens and less conspicuous media additions.

Wallpaper Borders

The narrow, horizontal wallpaper border that the ’90s told us looked cool in our living room frankly belongs in the past. Unless you own an Irish bar, a poker salon, or an original brownstone, the wallpaper border might be out of place.

A Nestorations post lists several dated features a home should discard, including wallpaper borders. “If you have these, just remove them to update your space instantly.  It may take a little work, but it’s totally worth it.

Sponging or Stenciling

Many ’80s living rooms enjoyed the sponge effect, which went out of favor in the ’90s, replaced by common decency. At one point in that golden decade, someone glanced at their living room walls and got a flashback from kindergarten art class. It was at this moment they knew the game was up.

A sarcastic post on Cookies & Sangria comes with no need for any explanation except the headline. “It’s 1997: Let’s All Decorate With Sponge Painting!”

Glass Liquor Cabinets

If you walk into someone’s home and spot an open or glass-doored liquor cabinet, chances are they are your grandparents. It worked for Don Draper, and some whimsical characters may attest they still retain a hip chic today.

Today, modern decorum would suggest having liquor hidden from view —one never knows who might visit, which might offend. Home ideas site Thistle Tree Lane gives tips for repurposing a tired-looking liquor cabinet into something more refined.

Neon Lights

There are several kinds of neon lights in some homes, ranging from Michael Scott’s St. Pauli fratboy showpieces to clinical neon strips. Either way, unless you are living in a Paul Verhoeven fantasy world, the neon belongs in the garage.

Of course, that ’80s and ’90s vibe still has quite the pull right now, so neon lights are firmly in the zeitgeist, according to various professionals. I say don’t listen to them — you will be thankful in a few years when they have changed their minds.

Popcorn Ceilings

We can forgive history for giving us textured ceilings; they served a purpose — hiding blemishes in the rendering. Even so, nothing says “give me a makeover” more than popcorn ceilings. Like many common decor quirks, popcorn ceilings came of age in the ’50s and lost their charm in the ’80s.

Another more sinister reason for removing them is their chemical content. Sometimes, the effect was completed using asbestos, according to decorating site Get Fresh Paint.

Tiffany Lamps

Rachel Silva of Elle Decor makes it clear of her feelings on Tiffany lamps. Silva declares that a Tiffany lamp “tends to look either too fussy or reminiscent of certain bars trapped in the ’80s.” She is surely referring to the much-loved sitcom Cheers (1984).

I am with Rachel on this one; even in their heyday, a Tiffany lamp worked only in certain environments. In their defense, Tiffany lamps do look wonderful on a cinema screen.

Nautical Accessories

For some unknown reason, a contingent of people living in colonial or neo-colonial homes can’t resist ship-based decor. Many of us have visited a colonial home bathroom with a fishing rope photo frame or anchor-shaped light fitting. It makes sense if you live near water but not in landlocked Midwestern states — but who am I to judge?

Furthermore, nautical design limits the color range, according to a FabHome article. “The only problem with the nautical style is if you like lots of different bright colors and will get bored of the white and blue theme easily,” it reads.

Animal Prints

We’ve touched on bad taxidermies; now we go after animal prints. It takes a certain personality type to pull off a zebra-skin rug. Whoever that person is, they risk making their home into a passé living space.

In a Kanebridge News Home and Lifestyle interview, Chicago-based designer Sarah Vaile issues her assessment of animal patterns in the home. “The universe knew what it was doing when it made these patterns a camouflage,” she jokes.